I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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