If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
