I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
