I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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