Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
whose parrot is this?
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