i may or may not be watching the land before time
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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