I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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