Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
