How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
