The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
