i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
