During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
