Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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