She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
