can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He felt like a one man threesome
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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