Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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