he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
