It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize