How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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