Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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