I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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