whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
