her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
