dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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