Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
