I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
