Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
