Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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