I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
