covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
