I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
