Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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