my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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