Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
