I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
