thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
