so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My balls are so social today.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
