I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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