just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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