**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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