Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just want nice things and good sex
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
