literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
