8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize