so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
