please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
