Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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