how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
