awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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