just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The air was thick with penises
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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