Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize