He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize