to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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