Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize