i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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