I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
