I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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