how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
