I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
